Santa Is Here To Stay

from GTOriginal by Gary Tucker

	/

Streaming + Download

Purchasable with gift card

about

Recorded in Montvale NJ 2004
Genre: Comedy/Christmas

lyrics

Hello Gentile boys and girls!
Uncle Gary here with a family Christmas story for everyone.
So gather round the fireplace and bring your cocoa.
Let’s go…

I woke up Christmas Eve cause I thought I heard an intruder
Thinking Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, or even Freddy Kruger
Turns out Santa Claus is no match for an old German Luger
Now this is one mess I can't clean up with my trusty little Hoover

I only opened fire because I was shaken with fear
I went into the kitchen there’s a fat guy drinking a beer
I swear this is not about the coal that he left me last year
So you better help me hide this stiff before the cops get here
Oh you better help me hide it quick before the cops get here

The elves and the reindeer now are free from oppression
So they gave me a cheer and helped me cover up this little indiscretion
They delivered extra toys in an act of forensic misdirection
And whispered to the New York Times that Santa "suffers from depression"
So I guess it's back to normal for me as I go about my day
Except I can't use the fireplace cause something is blocking the way
And I still gotta deal with Mrs. Claus and I gotta torch the sleigh
Because Santa came over to my house and now he's here to stay
Santa came over to my house and now he's here to stay
Santa came over to my house and now he's here to stay
Merry Christmas hahahaha…

credits

from GTOriginal, released January 1, 2004
© 2004, Gary Tucker

license

about

Gary Tucker Bath, Pennsylvania

contact / help

Contact Gary Tucker

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this track or account

If you like Gary Tucker, you may also like:

Office Hours Live presents Slaps, Bops & Bangers
by Tim Heidecker, DJ Douggpound, Vic Berger IV, Daniel Cupps

A compilation of side-splitters from Tim Heidecker’s podcast “Office Hours,” with appearances by Fred Armisen & others. Bandcamp New & Notable Jan 9, 2021
go to album
A Square is a Shape of Power
by Courtney and Brad

Courtney Swain and Bradford Krieger play fast and loose on their debut album as a duo. Bandcamp Album of the Day Oct 10, 2022
go to album
Edge of Time
by iKD Band

South African punk legends Ivan Kadey (National Wake) and Warrick Sony (Kalahari Surfers) team up for an album of rousing folk-rock. Bandcamp New & Notable Feb 22, 2022
go to album
Disheveled Cuss
by Disheveled Cuss

Big, brawny, hooky songs with 20-ton riffs and choruses as sweet as candy make this one of the month’s strongest rock albums. Bandcamp New & Notable Jun 12, 2020
go to album
More Sugar
by Sugar Tradition

Driving and fuzzed out rock and roll from the Motor City on the great Feel It Records. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 12, 2023
go to album
Moongazer
by TENEBRA

Italian stoner powerhouse Tenebra has the heft of Sabbath and the hooks of Saint Vitus in their powerfully imposing tunes. Bandcamp New & Notable May 8, 2022
go to album
Strange, Strange Times
by The Ugly Kings

Combining crooned murder ballads with raw, angsty hard rock hooks, Melbourne's The Ugly Kings are a wrecking crew well worth watching. Bandcamp New & Notable Sep 15, 2021
go to album