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American Hoedown

by Gary Tucker

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1.
This Song 03:07
A song of laughter, a song of hope A song about drowning at the end of your rope A song of elation, a song of light A song about murder on a cold winter night It's all about feelings it's all about dreams Pretty girl kisses and spiders and screams It's all about lust and how it caught me unaware It's all about love and how I don’t care A song about wisdom in the mountains we climb A song about stepping on the wrong side of the line A song about flying through an everlasting sky A song about treason on the Fourth of July It's all about nightmares it's all about bliss Roaches on your birthday cake, sweetness in your kiss It's all about time and how it caught me unaware This song about love and why I don’t care A song of laughter, a song of hope A song about drowning at the end of your rope A song of elation, a song of light A song about murder on a cold winter night It's all about feelings it's all about dreams Pretty girl kisses and spiders and screams It's all about lust and how it caught me unaware It's all about love and how I don’t dare
2.
Got me another speeding ticket Fifty-Seven in a Twenty-Five Scared to go home and tell the Mrs. This time she'll skin my ass alive Oh I got me another citation Didn't see that cop there on my six It was a moving violation my friend They told me I was driving much too quick Cost me a hundred seven dollars Points upon my license too But if my car was any faster I swear I would never get busted like I do Here we go Cost me a hundred seven dollars Points upon the license too But if my car went any faster I swear I would never get busted like I do Oh I got me another citation Didn't see that cop there on my six It was a moving violation my friend They told me I was driving much too quick Yes I got me another speeding ticket Fifty-Seven in a Twenty-Five Scared to go home and tell the Mrs. This time she'll skin my ass alive This time she'll skin my ass alive This time she'll skin my ass alive
3.
Into the clouds where I keep my head I feel all right as both my eyes turn red When the tides of life have turned against my soul I stick my head in the clouds And leave all my troubles below Yes in the clouds hey that's where I'm gonna stay Down there on Earth nothing never ever goes my way Any time you want to try and push me around I tip my hat and float away into the clouds OK everybody let’s float away into the clouds… Yes in the clouds hey that's where I'm gonna stay Down there on Earth nothing never ever goes my way Any time you want to try and knock me down I tip my hat and float away into the clouds I tip my hat and float away into the clouds I tip my hat and float away into the clouds
4.
Has Death broken the bonds To whom we were so fond? Can you hear us at all? If so answer our call… *** Come on down now Come on down now From your home beyond the sky Come on down now Come on down now Wipe the tears from our eyes There’s no reason for our grieving When your spirit’s living on Let us hear you - let us see you Show your loved ones that you’re not gone *** Move a table if you’re able Shine some lights around the room Shake the rafters – bring us laughter Take away our painful gloom *** Use our bodies if you need to We know your love can’t do us harm Leap that chasm with ectoplasm And extend your spirit arm *** Wipe the tears from our eyes Wipe the tears from our eyes
5.
Well I aint gonna move Gonna sit on my ass all day Don't matter what you say Aint gettin' up anyway No I aint gonna move Vegetating here like a stump No way I'm gettin' off my rump So get the hell away from me you chump Hahaha “chump” Yeah the boss keeps calling me Up on the telephone Put my stare on the wall And impersonate a stone Stone Cause I aint gonna move Gonna sleep like a freaking log all day Makes no difference what you say I aint gonna budge anyway Well I aint gonna move Gonna sit on my ass all day Doesn't matter what you say I aint gettin' up anyway
6.
Tell me everything I want to hear Sugarcoat it all for me my dear Whisper nothing but a bunch of Sweet lies in my ear Tell me everything I want to hear Do it now Do it now And when this new reality Throws random compliments at me You put a smile upon my face love All throughout the year Tell me everything I want to hear Do it now Do it now With your next everloving breath Remember to "Yes!" me to death Put a smile upon my face love All throughout the year Tell me everything I want to hear Tell me everything I want to hear Sugarcoat it all for me my dear Spin your words to fit my desire All throughout the year Tell me everything I want to hear Do it now…
7.
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun And I say it's all right Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here Here comes the sun, here comes the sun And I say it's all right Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here Here comes the sun, here comes the sun And I say it's all right Sun, sun, sun, here it comes (x6)... Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right
8.
Flea Ditty 03:04
Wishing that my doggie had no fleas To the man up in the sky I'm begging please Don't want to get high this way Tripping out on insect spray Wishing that my doggie had no fleas Oh great yeah the cat’s infected too What the hell is a guy supposed to do? Spray until all the fleas are dead Seeing flowers in my head Oh great yeah the cat’s infected too And I been *** Alright They been feeding upon me for a while And I pray that I don't end up with freaking West Nile Yes I spent the whole week scratching fleas Hope I don't get no disease Cause they been feeding upon me for a while They got me *** Yes I been wishing that my doggie had no fleas Yes I been wishing that my doggie had no fleas
9.
Hey there baby don’t try to make me blue You love somebody but you don't know who Just got one thing I want to say to you I declare-o - I don’t care-o There just aint no getting through to you And I know that this will never do Just got one thing I want to say to you That I swear-o - I don't care-o Seems like there just aint no getting over you Looks like nothing that I do will ever do Just got one thing I want to say to you That I swear-o - I don't care-o Hey there baby don’t try to make me blue With all the wicked things you always do Just got one thing I want to say to you I don't care-o - I don't care-o I don't care-o - I don't care-o Oh…
10.
Say Goodbye 02:02
I like to look up in the sky Cause it makes me wonder why I keep smoking if I'm high Holy crap you know that I Aint some kind of Russian spy See you later got to fly Back to Mother’s Apple Pie My oh my So pretty baby don't be shy Cause I would never tell a lie Gonna poke you in the eye And count the years until you die Cause like a bitch I’m gonna cry And you are the reason why The well of love is running dry Now it's time to say goodbye And you also know that I Keep on looking in the sky Cause it makes me wonder why I keep on smoking if I'm high
11.
Red House 03:43
There's a red house over yonder, that's where my baby stays. There's a red house over yonder, baby, that's where my baby stays. Well, I ain't been home to see my baby in about ninety nine and one half days, Wait a minute, something's wrong. The key wont unlock the door. Wait a minute, something's wrong, baby. The key wont unlock the door. I got a bad, bad feeling that my baby don't live here no more. That's alright, I still got my guitar Look out now I might as well go on back down, Go back 'cross yonder over the hill. I might as well go back over yonder Way back yonder 'cross the hill, (That's where I come from) Cause if my baby don't love me no more. I know her sister will!
12.
Check… Oh my paycheck come next Friday But today is always now Let's all join hands and spend it anyhow I tell you mister it sure aint Three bucket loads of fun This stack of fees For insufficient funds Down the toilet bowl That is where my money goes Before I even get to spend a dime This is what I do When the water starts turning blue I wave goodbye to the cash Cause it aint mine Bye bye now I'll miss you I get a total rush From an unsuccessful flush The President came a-swimmin’ back to me The lady at the bank Said she was gonna close her till If I gave her one more wet dollar bill Hahaha I said... Down the royal can That is where my money has been Before I ever got it in my hand This is what I do When the water starts turning blue I wave goodbye and never see it again Until next week when I do it all over again Until next week when I do it all over again
13.
Life been really hard I got a butt for a face There is a crack in every mirror Lord it's such a total disgrace Shoulda never cut that Witch Doctor Off in line He substituted the face With an ass upon mine So now I been trying to speak But nobody understands They always tell me I reek And start waving their hands And everybody assumes I just aint got no class Ever since I gave up my head In exchange for my ass So come on over here now baby Won't you give me a kiss Wonder wonder what I am ever Gonna get outta this Nothing really been the same Since the mug got replaced Sure aint easy walking around With an ass for a face Butt Face Butt Face Gotta say it really sucks To have a butt for a face There is a crack in every mirror Lord it's a total disgrace Wish I never cut that Witch Doctor Off in line He substituted the face With an ass upon mine
14.
Fall 03:05
Yeah fall is quite the bitchy season Starts out pretty but it leaves you freezin' Swear by golly it just aint pleasin' To smile when everything dies Just like me inside Don't like pulling the leaves in And this has really got me seethin' I had any cash I would surely be leavin' Way before anything dies Especially me inside I would almost rather get me a splinter In the eyeball than look at one more winter Freeze my nuts off just like my sister It all starts out on a fine autumn day And aint that just always the way? Fall is quite the bitchy season Looks all pretty while committing treason Can't think of one single reason To smile when everything dies To smile when everything dies To smile when everything dies Just like me inside
15.
People come into your life Hey brother don't you know The ones that seem to matter Are the ones that always go-go-go People come into your life Aint nothing more to say The ones that act indifferent Are the ones that stay and stay And stay and stay And stay and stay Don't let them aggravate you If they try to get your goat Throwing stones all year But not a single one shall float Don't you listen to their nonsense Honey don't you know I will think about you Anywhere that you may go Yes I will think about you Everywhere that you may go-go-go So never put your heart Upon the ones that drag you down Those little people smile Every time they make you frown And they never go away Just stick to you like glue So put them all behind you dear Whatever you may do Cause people come into your life And brother don't you know The ones that seem to matter Are the ones that always go The ones that seem to matter Are the ones that always go The ones that really matter Are the ones that always go-go-go
16.
Christmas is a drag If you aint got no money To hit the old price tag Before it drops upon your head Christmas is a drag I swear it just aint funny And I don’t want to sing no Yuletide crap Until after the turkey is dead Oh Christmas is a bummer Especially right after Halloween Might as well be summer for crying out loud If you know what I mean Yes it makes me want to gag So instead I’ll sing this song Dig from a grave of Christmas bills Until next year comes along Oh Christmas is a bummer When you’re all broke and such If it happened in the summer Christmas wouldn’t suck as much Yes Christmas is a drag If you aint got no money To hit the old price tag Before it drops upon your head Gotta hit the old price tag Before it drops upon your head Gotta hit the old price tag Before it drops upon your head
17.
Henry 02:47
Every year along about this time it all goes dry Looking around for love or money that’ll get you high Henry got pissed off and said he’d run to Mexico See if he could come back holding twenty keys of gold Now the road to Acapulco is very hard indeed And it isn’t any better if you haven’t any weed Henry’s driving hard and straight along twisty mountain road Fifty people waiting back at home for Henry’s load *** And now he’s rolling down the mountain Going Fast! Fast! Fast! And if he blows it this one’s gonna be his last Run to Acapulco to turn the golden keys Henry, keep the brakes on for this corner If you please… Henry got to Mexico and turned his truck around Talking with the man who has it growing from the ground Henry tasted, he got wasted; couldn’t even see How he’s gonna drive like that is not too clear to me *** Sunday afternoon Tijuana is a lovely town The bullfight brings the tourists and their money flowing down Border guards are much too busy there at five o’clock Henry’s trucking right on through, and hardly even stopped

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released January 1, 2008

© 2008, Gary Tucker

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