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Flaming Owls Of Armageddon

by Gary Tucker

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1.
A Thousand Ghosts 4-25-2010 03:19
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Hello there! Thank you for tuning in… Once a thousand dead Swirled around my head asking why No one else could see them They didn’t even try How I wish that I could satisfy The voice of a single one There is nothing I could do That aint already done Try to shield my eye Behind the wall of stone Still the call from above the sky Aint never gonna leave me alone How I long to satisfy The voices of each and every last one There is nothing that I can do Not one thing under the sun And I can’t deal with it anyway So I turn my back and run-run-run… How I wish that I could satisfy The voice of a single one There is nothing I can do That aint already done There is nothing I can do Under this or any sun Still a thousand ghosts Swirl around my head asking why Nothing I could say So I don’t even try I don’t even try No I don’t even try Thank you
2.
Mandy Baby 02:41
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Mandy baby, she is a pretty-pretty puppy Mandy baby, she is a good-good girl Mandy baby she is the best darn puppy I swear Best darn puppy dog in the whole wide world Yeah With an M-A-NDY Sweeter than CANDY I sing this song with a Mandy by my side Sure am glad she didn't puke in the car Because we went kinda-sorta far When I picked my Mandy up and took her for a ride Hey With an M-A-NDY Sweeter than CANDY I live and breathe with Mandy by my side So this dear friend I impart to you Something that I hold near and true I LOVE my MANDY Yeah Mandy baby She is a pretty-pretty puppy Mandy baby she is a good-good girl Mandy baby she is the best darn puppy I swear Best darn puppy dog in the whole wide world She is the best darn puppy dog in the whole wide world She is the best darn puppy dog in the whole wide world
3.
Flaming Owls Of Armageddon 03:03
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Flaming owls of Armageddon Pretty soon we will be getting See them burning in the sky That means we're all gonna die So don't worry about no sixes No pentagrams or crucifixes Just keep your eyes in the air For the flaming owls up there *** Dont believe that Nostradamus Not even if the Russians bomb us I could ignore a mushroom cloud If there aint no flaming owls **(Means you can kiss your ass goodbye) So don't worry about no sixes Or pentagrams or crucifixes Just keep your eyes in the air For the flaming owls up there *** ***
4.
Hyacinth House 03:05
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What are they doing in the Hyacinth House? What are they doing in the Hyacinth House? To please the lion, yeah this day I need a brand new friend that doesn’t bother me I need a brand new friend that doesn’t trouble me I need somebody, yeah That doesn’t need me I see the bathroom is clear I think that someone is near I know there’s somebody following me Oh yeah Why did you throw the Jack of Hearts away? Why did you throw the Jack of Hearts away? It was the only card in the deck that I had Left to play And I’ll say it again, I need a brand new friend And I’ll say it again, I need a brand new friend And I’ll say it again, one more I need a brand new friend The end
5.
Quasimoto Yoko Oh No! 03:23
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Quasimoto hiding in the woods Yoko Ono singing no darn good Hear that screech so weird and Japanesey Listening to that is never easy Big foot, Sasquatch, A thousand foot snake Loch Ness monster swimming in the lake Do what they can to hide themselves away From the Prehistoric Bird Every time the records play Hey Hey (screech) Hey Hey Shoot down a Zero from the kamikaze cloud Nuke Hiroshima; Do America proud Commit Hara-Kari on the surface of the moon Just take away that microphone And do it really soon Got Manson covering his ears in a cell Forever stuck in a personal hell That sounds like a screech; all weird and Japanesey Listening to that is never easy Hey Hey Hey Hey The Devil takes refuge in the State of New Jersey A spindle in his ear cause he knows he isn’t worthy To bleed from this screech so weird and Japanesey Listening to that is never easy Quasimoto is hiding in the woods Yoko Ono singing no darn good Do what they can to hide themselves away From the Prehistoric Bird Every time the records play Hey Hey Hey Hey Quasimoto is hiding in the woods Yoko Ono singing no darn good…
6.
A Fork & Plier 09/18/2010 02:46
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Alright If you want to get away from me so bad All you got to do is leave me alone Cause every time I call anybody I get you on the telephone And if you want to get away from me so bad All you got to do is let me be Cause every time I close my eyes I got you right there waiting for me Left me in the cold on a winter day Never even told me what for Something about how you just don’t dig My guitar playing anymore… So if you want to get away from me so bad All you got to do is let me be Cause every time I close my eyes I got you right there waiting for me You say that I aint never gonna see you again But I hereby declare you a liar Cause I can’t get you out of my head With a fork and plier With a fork and plier… Thank you very much
7.
The Picture On The Wall 03:05
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I fell into a picture on the wall One time when I needed to get away from it all I segue to a better place than here As always you were right there with me dear Oh We haven't got a worry or a care Every time you and I transition there Though maybe it's all some kind of dream I never try to shoot down what it means No Although I may be talking to you now I'm only halfway there And halfway somewhere else So maybe I will smile and nod my head But I got no idea what you just said No I haven't got a worry or a care Every time you and I transition there So what if this is all some kind of dream Never try to shoot down what it means Oh I fall into the picture on the wall Any time when I need to get away from it all I segue to a better place than here As always you are right there with me dear As always you are right there with me dear
8.
Smoking Herb 02:55
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Smoking herb You know that I deserve To spend the day Blazing away Smoking herb I think that it’s superb And so I spend every day Burning the hay Hey! Smoking herb Til both my eyes are shut When you ask me a question The answer is “what?” Smoking herb enhances every meal Because it gets you really hungry I think that you know the deal You know the deal Smoking herb You know that I deserve To spend every day Just blazing away Smoking herb You know that I deserve To spend every day Just blazing away To spend every day Just blazing away
9.
Retribution 02:18
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Sing about the natural talent To take an eye when I lose an eye Setting everything in balance Never works but it's worth a try Random acts of retribution On the docket for today Intense common sense pollution Here for now and here to stay Wonders what we can do To keep the sky from falling On our head What the hell can we do To overcome this overwhelming Sense of dread Focus upon getting even Appreciate the revenge at hand Sing about retaliation And get your shots in while you can Oh yeah Too bad you had to screw me over Now your day is coming due The witch of fate has turned the table And turned her ugly face on you So now I got a deal for you friend Take an eye when I lose an eye Setting everything to perfection Never works but it's worth a try It never works but it’s worth a try
10.
At 7-Eleven 03:12
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Never buy batteries at 7-Eleven Declaring bankruptcy at 7-Eleven Convenience Store cost so much more Because they rip you off 24/7 Some states can sell you BEER at 7-Eleven All kinds of crap sold here at 7-Eleven No Loitering Allowed; Shoes & Shirt Required If you work for no money You too can get hired Go play the lottery at 7-Eleven Cops get their coffee free at 7-Eleven Twenty bucks in the drawer any time after ten There used to be a pinball whore In the corner way back then Oh yeah Never buy batteries at 7-Eleven Declaring bankruptcy at 7-Eleven Convenience Store cost so much more Because they rip you off 24/7 Thank you very much please come again
11.
Nothing To Say 02:20
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I swear the phone been ringing like twenty times a day And I ignore every last one of nineteen Unless I see the call is coming from you I got nothing at all to say It drives me insane no matter what the time of day They never really love you; they just take your money away So unless I see the call is coming from you I got nothing at all to say The caller ID said UNAVAILABLE today They don't really love me; they just take money away So unless I see the call is coming from you Let me be cause I aint got nothing to say hey Won’t you let me be cause I aint got nothing to say I said let me be cause I aint got nothing to say
12.
It's All A Bunch Of Lies 03:53
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Don't listen to the words that run from the lips of deception Don't read no text from the fingertips of demise For those who should care most with tenderness and affection Are waiting for a moment to twist a knife into your eyes It's all a bunch of lies It's all a bunch of lies And I been hypnotized The foolish man am I Hey hey! I watched the future blow away on the winds of deception And wrote another check to the National Bank of Suprise For those who should honor you with love and utmost affection Instead want you dead and try to sprinkle the dirt into your eyes It's all a bunch of lies It's all a bunch of lies How I been hypnotized The foolish man am I So listen to the voice That says run and run with no hesitation You can prevail got the good Lord hanging on your side Everyone gets what they deserve at the end of this rotation I hope you can handle yours; I can surely handle mine It's all a bunch of lies It's all a bunch of lies How I been hypnotized The foolish man am I
13.
The Rain Comes 12-20-2010 03:44
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Oh… yeah… Every time the rain come dropping on my day Pushes that beautiful sun out of the way Won’t you come along and make everything OK Every time the rain come dropping on my day Every time the sun is shining down on me Everything’s alright as far as I can see I love my baby for true and we’re happy as can be Every time the sun is shining down on me Oh… yeah… Every time the rain come dropping on my day It pushes that beautiful sun out of the way But then you came along and now you make everything OK Every time the rain come dropping on my day
14.
Block Of Ice 02:20
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They got Walt Disney frozen in a giant square of ice I sure hope they fix cancer; that really would be nice I wish that I were frozen cryogenically as well Want to stiff the reaper; I don’t wanna go to hell Maybe you’ll decide to get yourself done too I want to live forever in a block of ice with you Don’t gotta get no older; don’t need to reproduce Could live to be a thousand if they don’t turn off the juice Forward to the future, hey wouldn’t it be fine To catch up with you baby in 2069 I hope that you decide to get yourself done too I want to live forever in a block of ice with you With you Forget reincarnation, so tedious and slow Suspended animation is the only way to go Won’t come back as a cockroach, a puppy, or a shrew Can’t come back as a weevil Don’t know why you would want to I hope that you decide to get yourself done too I want to live forever in a block of ice with you I’m gonna get suspended one day before I die And absolute zero makes the centuries go by And when I get frozen cryogenically as well I’m gonna stiff the reaper; I don’t wanna go to hell I hope that you decide to get yourself done too I want to live forever in a block of ice with you I want to live forever in a block of ice with you I want to live forever in a block of ice with you you you
15.
The New Jersey Song 01:59
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Let’s go to New Jersey where everybody’s really mean Flip each other off in traffic on Route 17 They called it the “Garden State”, sure as hell aint cause it’s clean Take one agonizing breath and watch your face turn green Green Welcome to New Jersey; nobody can afford the rent Help an old lady cross the street, she would tell you to get bent Oh get bent! Sopranos come along and fill your shoes up with cement To the bottom of the river, where your uncle went Hey…what? Hey kids check out the toxic waste, sure hope you dig the smell Five minutes here in New Jersey is like forty years in hell I am not there anymore and hallelujah don’t you know Got the hell outta New Jersey That’s why I don’t glow Hey, you got a freakin’ problem with that?
16.
Reefer Laws 03:14
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They got to change the reefer laws baby Before I get busted too The gotta change baby I tell you what I am gonna do I will be smoking and choking All over town I should stop toking no joking They are patting me down And that's so wrong These laws have gotta change baby baby You smoke a joint baby But you don't belong in the joint You get the point baby Good thing cause I'll forget it soon I'm getting tired and hungry And wasted from weed But getting fired is one thing I really don't need These laws are wrong Lord knows they gotta change Let's smoke a bowl baby We don't belong in the stripey hole Too much control baby I swear this is getting old I'm getting tired and hungry And wasted from weed But getting fired is one thing I really don't need These laws are wrong Lord knows they gotta change They got to change the reefer laws baby Before I get busted too The gotta change baby I tell you what I am gonna do I will be smoking and choking All over town Don't need policemen to wrestle My ass to the ground These laws are wrong Oh no no no!

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released December 31, 2010

© 2010, Gary Tucker

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Gary Tucker Bath, Pennsylvania

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